The other day, I was talking to this girl on Facebook. Eventually, I asked her if she had anyone in her life. She replied in the negative. Then I asked again if there was someone that loved her but she refused. She replied in the negative again. But when she said “no,” a question popped up on my mind. How exactly does she know?
I have personally known numerous people, mostly men, who didn’t have the guts to express their feelings to the ones they fell in love with. There are many reasons they couldn’t tell it. First comes lack of courage. “What if she denies” is one of the common reasons why guys never propose to the girl they want.
My opinion on this reason is, well, it makes sense. When you truly love someone (provided that I’m not talking about modern age relationship trend that’s nothing but a showoff), you may actually be afraid to stand in front of her and tell her that you love her simply because, if she denies, your heart will be broken and that will definitely hurt you a lot.
So, those who didn’t have the courage to speak up their heart because of getting rejected, I have nothing to say. It makes sense and I have no word, or logic, to break this.
But then again, there’s a question why most guys still don’t make it to the girls? I did a little bit research on this and came up with the idea that girls usually don’t give much attention to the guys that are not ‘best friends’ with them. I can totally relate to that. If you’re a stranger, and if you try to approach, most ladies will think that you’re trying to flirt with her and will try to avoid you. But if somehow you are acquaintance of someone, probably classmate or neighbor, you can then talk to the girl, ask how she’s been doing and the likes. But again, the girl will then be nice with you and answer your questions. That’s all. This leaves two effects on the guys who fall in real love with girls.
One, they know they aren’t getting any attention. So, if they propose, they know they’re going to be readily refused. Two, because he loves the girl, he’s already afraid of losing her. In most cases, after a rejected proposal, the couple’s friendship is at stake as most people have a tendency to end up communication with someone that proposed but got rejected.
So, what am I trying to tell here? Am I saying that you, girls, should be open and friendly to everyone around? Well, I think you can be at least friendly to strangers with a reasonable distance. But when it comes to your friends, no matter how distant it is, you can try to be a really good friend. I know, you don’t like all type of people. If you’re average girl, you wouldn’t probably like the punk boy in your classroom. If you’re more modern-aged girl, you probably won’t like the oldish boy in your friends circle. But then again, it doesn’t hurt to maintain a good (I didn’t say best) friendship with the guys you know, right?
But why would you do that?
Well, that way at least you’d know that someone loved you. I know you may be thinking to yourself that you’re not a love seeker. My answer to that is, you’re not seeking love. You’re just seeing and making it possible for others to reach you.
Trust me, even though most relationships don’t look like they’ll last, or they’re just downright impossible to even exist, you never know what happens at the end. I can give you proof of that, but let’s not open up people’s personal life. I can recommend you a Hindi film titled “Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.” Of course, it’s fictional. But it’s not “Science-Fictional.” And writers usually get the ideas for such movies from real life.
Again, you never know what’s possible. It doesn’t hurt if someone you absolutely don’t like proposes you. You can just be nice and deny him saying that you don’t think it’ll work out (although you don’t really know). This may still hurt the guy, but at least he got a chance to tell you.
So, if there are girls reading this post, my request to you is be friendly with your friends. You never know where you end up finding out the perfect love, only if you’re looking for it instead of ‘perfect look.’
And there will always be guys who, even after being rejected or dropped out of a relationship, will continue to dream of his dreamy woman and wait for God-knows-how-long until their love comes back to them and they live happily ever after.
To guys — Have you ever proposed someone you truly loved and got rejected? How did you feel then and how did you tackle it afterwards?
To girls — Did anybody ever propose you? Do you think, after reading this post, that there may be people in your life who would have proposed you if you were approachable?
It’s not mandatory that you reveal these personal life stories. But it would be good to start up a discussion.