Why I Deactivated Facebook on My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. And I deactivated my Facebook profile on this occasion.

The reason I deactivated my Facebook profile is that I wanted to avoid all the people writing “Happy Birthday” or “HBD!” on my timeline straight from their news feed where Facebook will show that my today is my birthday. I wanted to receive birthday wishes only on my mobile phone and/or my email inbox.

Just to let you know, I have over 800 friends in my list and most of them have added me after they read stories or tutorials written by me on several blogs and websites. I don’t mind adding random people because I don’t share any confidential or extremely private information on Facebook. Also, more friends help me get more clicks on the links [of blog posts and such] I share.

I didn’t want to let everyone wish me and flood my timeline. I wanted to get wishes only from those who really care.

But again, how much do those who care really care?

Every year, I spend my birthday sleeping in my room. I don’t have many friends. Don’t ask me why. I never had. So, I never quite celebrated my birthday since I was a child. This year, I planned for the first time to have a birthday party with a few of my college friends at a restaurant. That plan didn’t work out, though.

I invited a total of 9 friends. 3 guys and 6 girls. I knew that the guys will be there anytime I call them. But I wasn’t sure about the girls. The guys and I often have small parties in restaurants so it was no big deal. I wanted to bring in all my friends who I interact with in and outside college. But my luck wasn’t that good.

Trouble Finding A Venue

I went out of town for a few days and came back on June 2nd. I didn’t feel very well so I had to take June 3rd off everything. On June 4, I started looking for a good venue to hold the party. I was like flooding everyone with messages to help me choose a good restaurant with beautiful decoration. I haven’t been to many, so I had trouble finding. Bashundhara City was the best place to choose from because everyone already knows this place. But Tuesday is the weekly off day in Bashundhara City.

There were two girls who I really wanted to join the party. One is my classmate, Oishi, and another one is her elder sister, Tasnim apu. I communicated with them almost all day throughout June 4th just to make sure the venue is close to their house and the time is comfortable for them. I knew that the other guys would go anyone in the city to attend my party. So I only had to worry about the girls. ¬†At last, the venue was fixed at Captain’s World which is at the main gate of our college.

Trouble Getting a Girl

As odd as it may sound, two of the girls I invited said that they were leaving on June 5th in the morning for outside the city. They told me this in the first place, so I had to call Oishi and tell her to bring one or two friends with them. Logically, they would feel boring if there were all guys and they are the only girls. I named two of her friends and asked her to call and confirm.

In a moment, she told me that one other friend, Jessica, confirmed while another one, Hridita, was not picking up the phone. She also told me that if for any case Jessica doesn’t come by, then they won’t be coming, too. Because, like I said, they won’t enjoy it with all the other guys and no girls.

On June 4th, I went to sleep knowing that at least 3 guys and 3 to 4 girls are coming to my little party that I’m throwing on my birthday for the first time ever.

But I woke up only to receive a text message saying that Jessica won’t be able to come and therefore the two sisters won’t come as well.

So, what does that make? It all comes down to the four of us. The four of us that are constantly having parties in roadside food shops and tea stalls.

I didn’t hold the party. I thought there will be about 10 people joining the party. The four of us, the two sisters, and four other girls who are also our classmates.

Two girls were out of town. One was out of reach. One was out of permission. And the remaining two were out of girls.

 

This seriously hurt me. I don’t have many friends. I never had. After I got admitted into this college, I got a very few friends and I wanted them to join the first ever birthday party. In all my earlier birthdays, I’ve spent time mostly by sleeping or watching movies at home. I never had the fun, or the mood to have fun, or more precisely, friends to have fun with on my birthday.

This birthday, I had; but luck had the same plans for me.

Sorry for writing this long history in a post with totally irrelevant title. I’m sad and I just wanted to get the words out.

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13 thoughts on “Why I Deactivated Facebook on My Birthday

  1. hey happy birthday to da is my birthday!!!! lets clebrate ever y year online ok? i am american!!!!!! i love my parties!!! yeah!!!!!

  2. Ueh, I am so sad that it happened such way. Maybe we expect always so much from our Birthdays so if things dont go like we planned in our dreams, we don’t enjoy our birthday. What about your family? Is it not a custom to celebrate your birthday at least in home with family? I wish I was in Dhaka that day. But now I can only say that if next year I will be, I won’t let you to feel sad not even a single moment. :) Hugs!

    • Well just like I said we don’t usually celebrate birthdays here like a party. Yeah I was given wishes and gifts too by my family members. But we didn’t invite anyone else like friends or relatives.

      This year I wanted to make a difference and be like everyone else just to have some fun time. This didn’t happen.

      Thanks for that. :) I really hope you’ll be in Dhaka next year and I’ll invite you again.

  3. First, happy birthday.
    Second, maybe you are being a bit demanding and this is impacting on your friendships? Maybe I’m just getting old but I would be happy to share my birthday with just one or two friends – even if ten were invited. But then I gave up wanting lots of friends years ago. My special close ones are good enough for me and this helps me be more relaxed about my expectations of everyone else.

    It is sad when friends don’t turn up to things, but I suspect you were being unrealistic about these girls. It is not easy for girls to get about in Bangladesh and they have a lot of pressure on them for how they are to behave. This can make them a little paranoid and not without good reason. Maybe you put a bit too much pressure on them?

    My experience with Facebook is that most acquaintances won’t wish you happy birthday unless they feel a bond with you. I have well over a 1000 friends but only 200 or so wished me happy birthday last month. I was delighted with each one – they were all by people I consider to be friends. Not one came from someone I thought “why did they send a greeting?”

    Perhaps next year you should keep your facebook up and running? You never know, you might have a happier birthday…

    • Thanks, Ken.

      In fact, I never had friends worth throwing a party. This was the first time I had friends to invite. So, when they failed to attend, it hurt more than it should. But I’ve learned my lesson anyway.

      About the girls, I know they are under some family pressure and that’s why I talked continuously throughout the day to make the venue and time comfortable to the girls. Usually birthday parties are held at afternoon or evening, I timed at 11 am just so they could attend. The venue was near our college so transportation was good as well. What went wrong is that they became lonely. You see, they’d be bored if there were no other girls. Two girls among four guys, three of them unknown, it’s no gonna be comfortable. So, it was my bad luck. No pressure from any side.

      About the Facebook thing, well, compare to the number of friend I have on my list, I would get smaller greetings but almost all of them would be just some random guy. Birthdays are precious and you wanna see your friends and well-wishers greeting you on this occasion. I turned it off to see who really cares to send a personal message or email. Again, I might just not turn off Facebook next year.

  4. I can understand why you feel upset and sad. I had the same thing happen to me last weekend – I hadn’t had a birthday party with friends for years because I worry I don’t have enough friends & they wouldn’t enjoy themselves. This year I thought I would invite out my few good friends and 3 of them bailed on the day..I thought about cancelling because there wouldn’t be enough people but we all ended up having a really good evening with just a few of us. I still worried the next day that people had a good night but I always worry too much what people think and whether they enjoy themselves.

    It sounds like you are a ‘people pleaser’ and self conscious too. I was very hurt that 3 friends bailed on me because I was investing too much on them coming. I’ve bailed on people’s parties before so probably made others feel the same at times. Don’t cancel your celebrations if everyone doesn’t come. Just enjoy celebrating with friends who do make the effort to come.

    • I did hold the party in the end but I’m not very sure whether you could call it party anymore.

      Thanks for sharing your story and commenting on my blog.

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