love necklace

The other day, I was talking to this girl on Facebook. Eventually, I asked her if she had anyone in her life. She replied in the negative. Then I asked again if there was someone that loved her but she refused. She replied in the negative again. But when she said “no,” a question popped up on my mind. How exactly does she know?

I have personally known numerous people, mostly men, who didn’t have the guts to express their feelings to the ones they fell in love with. There are many reasons they couldn’t tell it. First comes lack of courage. “What if she denies” is one of the common reasons why guys never propose to the girl they want.

My opinion on this reason is, well, it makes sense. When you truly love someone (provided that I’m not talking about modern age relationship trend that’s nothing but a showoff), you may actually be afraid to stand in front of her and tell her that you love her simply because, if she denies, your heart will be broken and that will definitely hurt you a lot.

So, those who didn’t have the courage to speak up their heart because of getting rejected, I have nothing to say. It makes sense and I have no word, or logic, to break this.

But then again, there’s a question why most guys still don’t make it to the girls? I did a little bit research on this and came up with the idea that girls usually don’t give much attention to the guys that are not ‘best friends’ with them. I can totally relate to that. If you’re a stranger, and if you try to approach, most ladies will think that you’re trying to flirt with her and will try to avoid you. But if somehow you are acquaintance of someone, probably classmate or neighbor, you can then talk to the girl, ask how she’s been doing and the likes. But again, the girl will then be nice with you and answer your questions. That’s all. This leaves two effects on the guys who fall in real love with girls.

One, they know they aren’t getting any attention. So, if they propose, they know they’re going to be readily refused. Two, because he loves the girl, he’s already afraid of losing her. In most cases, after a rejected proposal, the couple’s friendship is at stake as most people have a tendency to end up communication with someone that proposed but got rejected.

So, what am I trying to tell here? Am I saying that you, girls, should be open and friendly to everyone around? Well, I think you can be at least friendly to strangers with a reasonable distance. But when it comes to your friends, no matter how distant it is,  you can try to be a really good friend. I know, you don’t like all type of people. If you’re average girl, you wouldn’t probably like the punk boy in your classroom. If you’re more modern-aged girl, you probably won’t like the oldish boy in your friends circle. But then again, it doesn’t hurt to maintain a good (I didn’t say best) friendship with the guys you know, right?

But why would you do that?

Well, that way at least you’d know that someone loved you. I know you may be thinking to yourself that you’re not a love seeker. My answer to that is, you’re not seeking love. You’re just seeing and making it possible for others to reach you.

Shahrukh Khan in Rab ne bana di jodiTrust me, even though most relationships don’t look like they’ll last, or they’re just downright impossible to even exist, you never know what happens at the end. I can give you proof of that, but let’s not open up people’s personal life. I can recommend you a Hindi film titled “Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.” Of course, it’s fictional. But it’s not “Science-Fictional.” And writers usually get the ideas for such movies from real life.

Again, you never know what’s possible. It doesn’t hurt if someone you absolutely don’t like proposes you. You can just be nice and deny him saying that you don’t think it’ll work out (although you don’t really know). This may still hurt the guy, but at least he got a chance to tell you.

So, if there are girls reading this post, my request to you is be friendly with your friends. You never know where you end up finding out the perfect love, only if you’re looking for it instead of ‘perfect look.’

And there will always be guys who, even after being rejected or dropped out of a relationship, will continue to dream of his dreamy woman and wait for God-knows-how-long until their love comes back to them and they live happily ever after.

who loves you

To guys — Have you ever proposed someone you truly loved and got rejected? How did you feel then and how did you tackle it afterwards?

To girls — Did anybody ever propose you? Do you think, after reading this post, that there may be people in your life who would have proposed you if you were approachable?

It’s not mandatory that you reveal these personal life stories. But it would be good to start up a discussion.

25 thoughts

      1. Hmm… well you asked a lot of questions there, but the one I’d like to answer is your title; how you know if someone loves you. True love for me is when someone is ready to sacrifice a great deal for you, when someone cares for you truly and accepts you just the way you are. And even sometimes when there is somebody like that, that person might only see you as a friend (albeit a very good one). Because to me, love in its true form is same whoever you love – the difference with a lover is that there are a few more things involved than only love.

        I think that before anything else, the person who wants to express her feelings should first make it clear what she wants; does she only want to “get it out” or does she want to be involved in a relationship with that person? Cuz if she wants to express her feelings only for the sake of doing it, then it’s better not to. If she’s friends with that person then their friendship would be at stake. If she aims to create a relationship however, she should first analyze her feelings for that person and try to understand if she really loves him or not. And then she can tell him, but she should also be ready for a rejection. If she’s rejected, she should be able to deal with it without bothering him. And if he’s rude towards her, she should understand that he was never right for her in the first place. Cuz he doesn’t care about her feelings.


        1. You’re a step further. You’re saying, or I think that you’re saying, things that a girl should consider after she notices that a guy is in love with her. But what I wanted to say in the post is how would a girl notice that someone is in love with her? I mean, most girls won’t even notice unless there is a guy that she likes in the first place.


          1. No I wasn’t talking about a “girl” or a “guy”, I use “she” instead of having to write “he or she”, so it can be any sex. And no I didn’t talk about only after she has found out that he’s in love with her, I meant what she needs to look for. Love isn’t only those temporary flings of hormones, it’s much deeper than that. If a person sees that someone is ready to sacrifice and cares etc etc, then it’s a clue that maybe he loves her.


    1. Fairy tales aren’t always true. 😉 Sometimes you just have to look around and analyze your friends’ faces whether there is someone who wants to approach you.


  1. well as a girl i think i make out the intention of the person in front by just a look!!! and there are many who try to be friendly to flirt!! i am not against your point!!! but fir some reason i feel comfortable to one stranger but not to other!! so i think the intention of any person has to be true!! if its so the girl knows!!!


    1. That’s all I’m saying. If you look, you may probably understand. But most girls won’t even look unless she likes him in the first place. But my logic is, it’s not always the girl who has to like the guy first. It can happen vice-versa as well.


  2. Okay the comment thread ended there so I’ll just reply here :P. That’s why I think you’re talking about deshi girls, they’re really rude… or maybe it’s cuz I have really bad experience of and with them :-/.


    1. Well, I’ve only been around Deshi girls only so ya probably. Not that I loved a lot of them but they didn’t notice which tempted me to write this post. 😉 I just wondered and this is the fact here as you may know.


      1. The thing about Deshi girls – and I’m not generalizing, not talking about all Deshi girls, simply the type in question (maybe you know which type I’m talking about) – is that they’re arrogant in a way they’re not even aware of. Some of them do these things on purpose, others really see it as a game. I have friends myself who openly declare how they’ve “toyed with boys”. If you ask me I’ll say the boys should know better. Today you can’t go around wearing your heart on your sleeve, cuz the world has become damn tough so we need to toughen ourselves up as well. This does not make those girls’ actions right in any way, but to be fair guys have played games with girls since the beginning of time. Unfortunately whenever a girl does something it gets more attention than when a guy does it.

        My point is that amidst these false girls, it’s difficult to separate the ones that are really true from the ones who only think they’re true. We must always remember that everybody doesn’t know themselves as well as some of us do. So we shouldn’t blame nor judge, simply observe. Trust me, years of observing has taught me more than the classroom has about people. The more you observe, the more predictable people’s actions are gonna be to you. And then you can start analyzing and separating the true lovers from the players ;).

        Sorry… I’m in a bit of a passive aggressive philosophical mood here lol.


        1. You are right, I agree with you. I equally hate those guys who play with girls. But, like you said, the world has changed and nowadays when a guy does it, it’s more under the spotlight but when a girl does it, well, it happens, you know.

          I think the whole thing is too complicated. That’s why I didn’t dive into what-happens-next part. Listen first, act later. That’s what I wanted to tell. 🙂


  3. I am also currently experiencing it…

    But what makes me confused is, my current status : i already have a girlfriend…
    and sometimes I think, if she is really “the right one”?

    or this is just Love Addict?


  4. yah, i did just 2days ago, but, she(a very good friend of mine) didn’t refuse. she just made me her best friend. i am quite happy with that, but i exactly don’t know what she is up to. she has a family problem(conservative) that doesn’t allow her(as she said) falling in love with anyone, but i think it’s not like that. i think she doesn’t love me(though she told that she likes me so much). and my heart just beats and beats so fast now.
    what to do in this situation?? should i wait, as i want to?? and as she said that only and only if her family members get convinced then we can marry though she wouldn’t take any step for me, cuz her family members would be hurt if she does something like that. 😦 it’s quite complicated situation. 😦


  5. i love this girl very much.i have told her peer friend to help to talked to her how much i love her.but anytime they wat to tel about it she wil say she dnt wat hear about it.does it show she loves me.


  6. Well, I’m a girl and i hardly trust guys because I’ve talked with many people and most of them are boys. Though some friends are decent and well mannered, max boys are pervert. Why I’m saying this ? At the 1st time, they act like they are decent, good and nice to make me comfortable with them. But whenever we were getting close, they exposed their real face to me and asked some unexpected things from me which disappoints me a lot. Because whenever i talk with anyone, i always be friendly and decent. But i believe nobody is same in the world, there are many people who’s nice to me and i pray for those guys who have evil eyes and intentions to girls.
    Many guys proposed me, but i never gave them that much space because i can understand their body language towards me. Because most of them want show off which is nothing but time pass. And yeah, if i get anyone who loves me secretly, I’ll never hurt him. Because nowadays it’s quite hard to find someone loving truly 😉


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