I had to play around with the title of this post. First I thought I’d write “Do you have this worst habit?” Then I replaced it and wrote “The Worst Thing About Me.” But that didn’t satisfy me either. So, I just copied the quote from a TV show and pasted it in the title bar because that best describes what I want to tell.
So, here’s a problem that I have. I know it’s disgusting. Some of you might say that it’s a bad habit or it’s because of too much online activity. I can assure that I’m not a chatroom or social networking freak. This problem might occur in real life, too. I think it’s all about how I take people into my mind.
Everyone Doesn’t Take Me Like I Take Them
It’s that simple. Sometimes I come across people who look and sound like really caring, friendly and honest. I enjoy talking to them. They share a lot of stuff and make me comfortable to talk about things that I’d rather not tell a stranger or a friend in my college. Most of the time these people behave like they too are on the lookout for someone who they can share everything with. Obviously I’m not talking about becoming girlfriend or boyfriend. I’m talking about being a friend who is a little different from others.
However, as you can already guess, they disappear after a short while. Not all of them, though. Some do exist but don’t really talk that much. It’s like after the initial introduction and some time of talking to each other passes, they move on the new people or just stick to the ones that existed even before I came. This sentence may have been too complex to understand but I believe you got what I mean. And that’s really where my problem is.
When someone, no matter which platform — Facebook, Blog or other IM conversation or just in real life — talks like that, I take them as a good friend. I know you can’t choose friends overnight. I’m not talking about overnight stuff. Take a few weeks or months for example. I know virtual friends aren’t real always. But again, I’ve spent most of my life alone (and I have no idea why I did) so when someone comes around in the virtual world, it feels really great.
My problem is that I begin to care them like a really good friend. I try to talk to them. I try to solve their problems. I try to listen to their stories. I try to be someone who would listen to stuff they didn’t find anyone else interested in listening. I try to inspire whenever I discover they have something to be depressed of. They appear to be really happy at that. But slowly this thing changes. I don’t know what happens. Possibly they don’t find much interest in talking anymore and therefore decides to move away. Or probably it’s just me thinking that. Probably it’s because I cannot be a good friend anyhow.
You Can’t Just Come in and Check out
So, am I crying not to have close friends on Facebook, or real life? Not really. My best friend is my blog who listens to everything and even gives back opinion from other people. But what I’m saying here is that you can’t just come in, make them care and then just check out. Yes, I copied it from The Walking Dead, but it’s really what I mean right now. If you’re just trying to be friendly, that’s another thing. But when you talk like you’re being a close friends, and then you make me care, and then you disappear or loose down all communications, it hurts.
I don’t have to be anyone’s boyfriend to feel that. In fact, a boyfriend — when broke up — feels nothing compared to what it feels like when a friend loses his friendship for reason unknown.
This one of the worst things about me really bothers me. Lucky that I’m not a girl, or else I’d have been bullied a million times already.
Does anything like this happen to you as well? How do you handle your emotion when someone you care creates a gap for no reason or turns out not that close to you as you thought in the first place?