This may not be a universal truth like “Sun sets in the west,” but around the universe it works something like this: You become a friend with someone, eventually you get into a relationship, if you’re not lucky enough you’ll break up, and that will cost you your friendship as well. I understand why it works that way. But I’ve found another way in which it shouldn’t work.

Picture this on your mind: Someone you know turns out to have a crush on you. You know that he or she doesn’t deserve you, or you know that you’re never gonna end up with him/her. You warn him/her that they may be in pain in the end and ask them not to dream about you. They show utmost foolishness and still cherish their dream with you. You ask them one day, with as serious tone as possible, why they are hanging on to you, and they answer, hanging on to you makes them feel like their dream will come true. You warn again that this will never happen. You even tell them that you’re already in a relationship. You tell them that there’s just no chance. But they continue to dream about you.

One thing to note here, though, is that they don’t necessarily annoy you. It’s more like when you’re free they’ll knock you. They’ll want to know how you’re doing from time to time. They’ll ask you to take medicines on time if you need to. They’ll ask you if you had your meals on time. But they remain careful enough not to project on you that they are in love with you and they want you in their life. Yes, they tell you this only when you ask.

“Why do you stay awake all night for me?”

“Because I love you; and just talking to you makes me happy.”

One day, at certain point, you kill all communication with them. Not because they were forcing to come to your life or the other way round. Not because they were annoying you all the time you’re available. But simply because you don’t want them to care you. You don’t want them to know what you’re up to and how you are doing.

Or perhaps you would, if you never knew that they have a feeling for you.

You see, I don’t really get this. After a broken relationship, it’s simple that you can’t just revert back to friendship and maintain that. But in cases like this, when you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty or be annoyed by someone who secretly loves you and eventually lets you know, why would you stop talking to them? The only reason I can find is that you don’t want to give them a false hope. Well, how about when they clearly say that they don’t care what’s gonna happen. They hope, and they will even if you ignore them or refuse them to do so.

In any case, you should know, hope is the only thing no one or not a thing can kill. If someone’s got hope, it’ll never die unless they do so.

So, why would you stop talking to them?

15 thoughts

  1. We often think we know better than others. Even if you say that you understand that you guys can never be together etc, she still believes that you don’t truly understand it. That you’re just saying it and in the end you’re gonna end up hurting anyway. That’s my theory anyway ^_^.


    1. Hm, that makes sense, though. But it’s not really right. Sometimes they really know they’re not gonna get what they hope for and they feel ‘okay’ with that. But when communication breaks down simply because they let her know, it hurts worse than anything else.


      1. Look… being with someone who never wanted to be with you in the first place will never make you happy. You shouldn’t want someone who doesn’t want you.


  2. “if you’re not lucky enough you’ll break up, and that will cost you your friendship as well.” Well said, I have this experience in my life and it pains ridiculously. Anyway, life goes on and I do not hope anything now, actually it makes me indifferent. 🙂


  3. Hello, just a heads up I’ve mentioned your blog in my latest post titled ‘Some of the blogs I read’. Nothing profound just a reading list of blogs I like. Keep blogging, Ruth x


  4. I am not sure what it is. Right now I am having a great friendship with someone who knows I love her. Still, we stay in contact and do the things we did before. So it is actually possible. I am just afraid that most people can’t deal with the fact someone has feelings for them. It scares them. They might even think you don’t actually understand when they say they are not in love with you. Or they are just afraid to send a wrong signal or that one will make a move regardless of their answer. The human mind is complex.


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