Most of us write blogs because we want a platform to share our thoughts and opinions on different matters. We can’t afford to publish our own printed magazine or newspaper, so that’s where blog stands out. However, the use of blog as a method of conveying messages is also popular to some people. I’m no different. But in this blog, this is going to be the first post through what I want to send someone a message; assuming that she will be reading it sooner or later.
I’m not really focusing on myself here or bringing the spotlight upon me, but I’d still ask you if you remember the time when you needed someone besides you. Well, you didn’t really need someone. But someone’s company could lessen the pain and pressure you were going through. To be honest, I wasn’t aware of your situation at first. But it didn’t take much time until I was. And the way you reacted was somewhat clear that I was able to lessen the pain and make you smile.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want anything in return. But it was you who promised something. Remember anything? That sounded so weird at that moment. Tell anyone about that, they’ll laugh. It was as if I queued myself up to some ticket counter. You know what I mean. But I accepted that given that I already had something. If you recall what I said, you’ll understand what I mean.
I waited. Yes, I did. Not that I prayed for something bad to happen to you. But when it did, I did know that you’ll feel very depressed and sad. I tried to contact but at the same time I knew you needed time to recover. So, when you didn’t reply to any of my messages, I just thought that you’re taking your time.
Quite some time later, now I know what you’re up to. And it isn’t really what was supposed to happen. I know, if I told you that directly, which I actually wanted, you’d perhaps say sorry or say that you didn’t mean that or say blah. So, I didn’t bother asking. In an instant I figured out what is happening and what will happen a few months later.
The question is, what happened to that promise? Were you really joking? I’m sure you weren’t. But I’m also sure that it wasn’t supposed to happen, either. Last time we talked about it was about a few months ago. But let’s go back a few years. Yup, I had the same thing on my mind. But I thought it wasn’t supposed to happen, so I didn’t bother speaking up about it. I still don’t know why a few months ago I let you know about it. It was better unsaid.
Now, am I blaming you? Did you do this willingly? Well, I don’t blame you. I won’t bring the question whether you did it on purpose or it just happened. I know what’s wrong with all this. It’s just what happens. It’s nothing you — or more precisely, I — can do anything about.
Anyway, I will, like I have been doing, continue to hope for the best in your life. In the end, that’s the least a well-wishing friend can do, right? 😀